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Life AFTER Kids; Me and My Earnest Marriage.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day; a day full of love, roses, chocolates and well a celebration of the one or ones (like my kiddos too) that give us all the heart eyes.

Since we have had children, Valentine’s Day morphed into celebrating them. We usually have either a color or heart themed dinner followed up with a family night of fun. This year however, I wanted to be more intentional on celebrating my marriage.

My situation may sound like yours, I am a stay at home mom – day and night I am always on call. My husband (bless him) holds 3 part time jobs (which feels like 3 full time jobs most days); all so I can be home with our children. To top it off he is a full time (unpaid) pastor in the church we attend. Needless to say, sometimes the busyness of life like this takes the focus off of just “US.” This Valentine’s Day, I needed to change my focus to just him; trust me y’all he is worth it!!!

I took myself back to our dating, early marriage and pre-baby days. We took off on whims, laughed a lot (well, we still laugh a lot) but I remember waking up in the morning or finishing work in the evening and I could not wait to see him. So I went back there, two younglings blessed and in love – I started to be her again. Everyday I try to get back to that cute 23 year old and date my husband again. Do not get me wrong – we go on dates but I can honestly say I have not been dating him. I talking full on, thinking of you texts, his favorite meals, surprise date nights, and big squishy welcome homes when he walks in the door.

I know we talk about keeping our marriage a priority but I needed to do more than say it is. I am working hard to know it is. I am honored that this man is my husband, I want him to feel that honor. Soon enough our kids will be grown and gone, but I do not want to wait to focus on him until then.

Any other moms relate?! I mean I know, between homework, a demanding 16 month old who is still nursing, colds, flus, a preschooler blossoming before me and my own sanity – needing to share my attention can seem daunting but it is necessary. So this Valentine’s Day, we will be off for three days (2 nights) there are surprises planned, dinners planned, fun to be had; and because we are responsible/practical adults – we also scheduled our tax appointment because we will be kidless (I mean, adulting is hard and annoying sometimes)!

There are seasons in any marriage, and the children season seams to be rewarding but trying one that really does test many limits. But it is also worth it to stop, slow down and focus on your marriage – at least it has been for me. Taking myself back a decade and reminding myself how in love with my husband I really am has changed my outlook during this crazy time. Dating again may not look as grand as our weekend planned (taxes and all); but it can start with flirting, hand-holding, letter writing or even learning each other’s love languages and spoiling each other in them – every moment invested in your marriage will come back ten fold.

x. earnest mom.

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