Dear Earnest Mom,

Five years ago, you were tired and overthinking. You’ve doubted all of your abilities. You were definitely holding a cup of coffee that went cold hours ago. You said “yes” to something both exciting and terrifying: homeschooling.

I see you. You are second guessing EVERYTHING. You are listening to those around you tell you things you actually believe. “Children need socialization.” “You can’t, you have a toddler.” “You do not have the space.” “It is expensive.” “I am worried they won’t learn.”

You feel the overwhelming need to have 100 printed worksheets. Little desks should be lined in row. This space definitely needs a chalkboard. You are imagining creating a mini public school in your home. You are planning schedule charts, you have thousands on pins on your newly minted “Home School” Pinterest Board. You need to school for 6-8 hours a day per kid. Plus, you need to do it perfectly.

Let me just stop you. Hold on to both your shoulders. I would look you straight in the eye. Then take a deep breath in; and exhale “mama, you do not have to do any of this.” Breathe in again, and exhale, “you are more capable than you know.”

Here is what I would tell you, if I could sit across from you at the dinner table. The soon to be home school table. If I could, I would pour you a fresh hot cup of coffee. Your amazing children would be playing to and fro. Their couch fort would collapse to the sound of their laughter.

1. You DO NOT need to recreate school at home. Your children will learn. It may happen slowly, but that real learning often happens curled up on the couch, or reading aloud at the kitchen table. It happens in the kitchen, baking bread and talking fractions. Together you will learn taking walks in the gorge, visiting museums and delivering a kind card to a friend. Learning happens everywhere – do not let the idea of institutional school inspire what you need to do. You know your children, you love your children, you will teach them just the ways they need.
2. You are allowed to go slow. There is NO “behind” in home school. There is ONLY your pace and your children – exactly where they are at. Some years will feel productive and done in ease. Others will feel like you are playing a game of Jumanji. Both count-remember learning happens everywhere.
3. You will grow right alongside them. Home school is not just about shaping their minds. It is also shaping your heart. As you walk, the Lord as your lead, you will learn to let go and let God. You will learn to see where you lack, He gives the increase. You will gain the opportunity to know them deeply. This journey will be sacred, though not always smooth. You will learn with patience, humility, and the blessing of slowing down. You will mess up, but grace – sweet grace will meet you there every time.
4. It’s okay to change things up. Best laid plans, and all that. That color coded calendar, printed out curriculum – it all could change by November. That routine that you planned so well, it could crumble with a stomach bug. You are not failing – you are using your wisdom. You will pivot things in prayer, trust your instincts, and learn to do what works for YOUR family.
5. You do not have to do this alone. Find your people mama. Your community will carry you. It could be your bestie who has decided to home school too. It could be an encouraging mom from your local MomCo group. Perhaps it’s your sister who picks up every time you call. You were never meant to carry this by yourself, you were called for more.
6. Fruit takes time mama, be patient. There will be days, SO MANY DAYS when it feels like nothing is sticking. You will wondering if anything that you do matters. You’ll worry they are not learning anything. Then, one day, you’ll hear them explain something you taught them, or a prayer you prayed with them. You will receive compliments of how mature they are. They carry conversations with adults easily. Their respectfulness shows in their top-notch manners! Then, right then, you will see it. The fruit. Lovely. Quiet. Steady. Beautiful.

So, breathe deep mama. You don’t need to have it all worked out today. God’s mercies will be new again tomorrow morning. There will be coffee and the read-alouds. The mess and the wonder will be there too.

You’ve got this — not because you’re perfect, but because you’re called. One Earnest MOMent at a time.

With love and grace, Earnest Mom. (Just a touch greyer, a bit softer, and still in awe of this wild, holy home school life).