Preorder Today for a FREE 30 Day The Gift of a Happy Mother Journal and Prize Entry for a gift basket curated by Rebecca Eanes. Details below.
I have had the earnest privilege to read a digital advanced copy of Rebecca Eanes’ new book The Gift of a Happy Mother and it is honestly a life changing book for me. I feel like as a mom I am constantly in a state of survival mode; working hard to get from one part of the day to another. Surviving the messes, the tears, the craziness and the exhaustion. Who knew finding joy in chaos was possible?! Rebecca makes the stress of motherhood so relatable and the task of finding joy in it all, attainable. This book moved me – all moms should have this one in their mama toolbox.
Below is an excerpt from her new book, sharing with permission from the author, Rebecca Eanes.
“You look gross,” she said. Her eyes narrowed, her nose crinkled in a look of disgust. She didn’t break her stare. Then, she threw another punch. “You’ve aged 10 years in the last month. Look at those lines.” My heart sank, and I walked out of the bathroom to get away from the jerk in the mirror.
Of course, she followed me. She followed me everywhere I went, teasing and mocking often.
“Nobody cares what you have to say.”
“You’re a joke. Give it up.”
“You have zero talent.”
I came in contact with my fair share of bullies throughout childhood, but none as formidable as the one that resided inside my own head. My inner critic was large and in charge before I tackled this happiness stealer on my journey to being a happier mom. The truth is, I didn’t like myself very much. I wouldn’t have liked anyone who talked to me that way, so that was certainly understandable. Sometimes the biggest critics we face in our lives are ourselves.
I could go on about the kids in school who called me “hippopotamus” or how my work has been criticized as recently as two days ago. We all have stories like that, don’t we? I could blame them all for the harsh voice inside my head, but placing blame doesn’t fix the problem. In the end, this is my show, and I decide who’ll be the star. There will always be people in the world who don’t see our value. It’s when we stop seeing it ourselves that’s the real problem.
The first time my son received a hateful comment on YouTube, I told him this. “Don’t let someone’s hateful spirit invade your beautiful heart and soul. They can’t see your light because they live in darkness. That doesn’t mean you aren’t shining, though. Shine on.” I give him different versions of this same message every time someone fails to see his light. I don’t ever want him to lose sight of his value. Saying this to him stirred up a lot of emotion in myself, and I realized my heart desperately needed this message, too.
To the girls in elementary school who teased me, to the boys who dumped me, to the friends who backstabbed me, to the internet critics, to everyone who has said a hateful word about me, and especially to the bully in my brain, hear this: Your hateful spirit will not invade my heart and soul. I will shine on.
Strategy: Hush Little Critic, Don’t Say a Word
Dealing with inner bullies is a lot like wrangling down those negative thoughts, but it’s more personal. A negative thought might be “this day is a total failure” but the inner bully might say “you are a total failure.” Stop those hateful thoughts about yourself in their tracks and start saying positive things about yourself every day, even if it feels ridiculous at first. Positive self-talk will build your self-esteem and confidence. When that inner critic rears her ugly head, say hush little critic. Then remind yourself how awesome you are, because mama, you’re incredible!
Write a friendly letter to yourself. List your good qualities and tell yourself why you are worthy of love and joy.
I know this “Brain Bully” all too well – I battle with her daily. How dare she question who and what I am as a mother?! Alas, she does and there are times I believe her. I love the strategy Rebecca gives here to help hush that inner critic. Find out more about finding that inner joy that our children deserve from us mamas by pre-ordering your copy of The Gift of a Happy Mother. Order today (or before April 1, 2019) to receive a FREE 30 Day Journal for The Gift of a Happy Mother; and you will be entered to win a gift basket from Rebecca Eanes! Preorder link here: THE GIFT OF A HAPPY MOTHER
x. earnest mom.