Monthly Archives: February 2020

How to Take the Price and Tension Out of Traveling. A Guest Blog from DadSolo.

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Daniel Sherwin is a single dad raising two children, a 9 y/o daughter and 6 y/o son.  He created DadSolo.com, aiming to provide other single dads with information and resources to help them better equip themselves on the journey that is parenthood.

PHOTO BY RAWPIXEL.

Hey Parents, Here’s How to Take the Price and Tension Out of Traveling.

As a parent about to travel with kids, chances are you’re trying to figure out how to make it to the destination without experiencing the tantrum of the century that results in forking over money for an airport stuffed animal. It’s true, children add a unique challenge to the traveling experience, but seeing their smiling faces makes it all worth it! Here’s how parents can take the tension out of traveling and avoid unnecessary spending for a more seamless experience.

Don’t Stress Over Booking

Rather than have a gazillion Internet browser windows open trying to find the cheapest price on hotels, flights, and/or car rentals, use a travel site like Priceline. Combine that with cashback options and online promotions for Priceline, and you can increase your savings even further. It’s easy to book, easy to compare prices, and easy to save. Plus, you’ll find that travel sites are able to predict price changes so that you can book at just the right time.

Choose Kid-Friendly Accommodations

Not all accommodations are created equal on the kid front, and you shouldn’t have to pay extra for a kid-friendly experience. As far as airlines go, opt for those that offer pre-boarding for younger children, discounted child fares, stroller/car seat gate checks, WiFi, and special accommodations like changing tables and bassinets. When looking for kid-friendly hotels, pinpoint specific amenities such as large or connecting rooms for big families, family rates, pools, playgrounds, and easy food options via an attached restaurant or room service.

Pack Travel Food and Snacks

Children are snack experts, and it never fails that they want one at the most inopportune times, such as when the plane is taking off or your only option is an overpriced candy bar. Save money, prevent meltdowns, and stop hunger pangs by packing food and snacks not only while traveling but once you arrive at your destination as well. Use containers with labels to keep things organized, and only bring things you know your child enjoys. Once you get where you’re going, find the nearest grocery store so that you can save on lunch and perhaps prevent a meltdown when a restaurant has nothing your child likes. Stick to the staples such as fruits, veggies, bread, deli meat, and mess-free snacks.

Don’t Forget the Basics

Whether you’re traveling to a tourist destination or not, it’s likely you’ll have to pay higher prices for the basics, so bring them yourself. Create a comprehensive packing list that includes everything you and your kids might possibly need including medications, Band-Aids, earplugs, toiletries, and anything your child absolutely can’t function without, such as their favorite stuffed animal, pillow, sheets, tear-free shampoo, etc. Add to the savings by shopping at your favorite stores like Target, searching for coupons, and taking advantage of price-match guarantees. If you’re flying, take a look at the checked-bag policy for each airline to find one that offers the most bang for your buck. For example, your first two bags on Southwest are free, while most other airlines charge $30 to $40 for each checked bag.

Drop Your Expectations

It doesn’t matter if you’re traveling with four kids, one toddler, or solo, having travel expectations is a sure-fire way to result in a letdown. Why? The unexpected happens, and if you have this magical idea in your head of what your trip will look like, then you’ve set the bar high. Let it be what it is. There will be mishaps, maybe even a few tears, but ultimately this trip will be something the entire family remembers.

Regardless of whether this is your first time traveling with children or you’re a seasoned pro, it can still be stressful. Plus, there’s that expectation that it has to be expensive. Hey parents, travel doesn’t have to make your hair fall out or break the bank! A little planning and zero expectations are all it takes for a trip the whole family can enjoy!

Earnestly Seeing the Moment. The Overwhelming Moments of a SAHM.

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Let me set the scene, it is after dinner and usually the dishes wait until after the kids go to bed…or sometimes until the following morning. Anyway, it is after dinner, we have full bellies, family conversations have ended and next we watch a show or two then start bedtime routines. We head into the TV room, earnest dad kicks up his feet the in recliner and I am in my usual corner of the sectional. All of the sudden I cannot breathe – all three earnest littles are on top of me. Literally two on my lap and another snuggled so close next to me it almost hurts! To be honest, I get overwhelmed.

I am the type of person who likes her own space, I am a snuggler but after being home with the kids all day while earnest dad works – my love tank is full. I am ready for the littles to be all over daddy and let this mama breathe. I look over to earnest dad, reclined, relaxed and maybe even dozing a bit and I get overwhelmed.

There are times in the day, when the kids are running and screaming, fighting and crying, trying to pull me away from cooking dinner to “watch this” or they are too quiet and in a massive panic I rush in to see what is going on. In these moments I am desperate for earnest dad to walk through the door so I can pee alone or at least without children crying and banging down the door. Again, I find myself feeling overwhelmed.

That chaotic hour between home from school and dinner time, when I have to focus of chopping, boiling, tossing and cooking (food not my kids lol) are sometimes the craziest moments of the day. I have to be mom, tutor, playmate, personal chef, or heaven forbid the business phone rings and I have to toss all my hats off to wear the self employed secretary and scheduling hat. I am trying to keep it all together and sound professional, I get overwhelmed.

A few nights ago, kiddos all tucked up in bed and earnest dad working on his reports I was able to sit with my book and some tea, then I started reflecting on my day. It is such an incredible, blessed, exhausting, confidence testing, love never ending, over the top kind of ride, this wild ride that is motherhood. As I sat in my peace, my quiet, my still I start to already miss those squishy little feet tucked under my thigh, the warmth of the toddler and preschool bodies resting heavily on my lap and the arms of love intertwined on my arm as my nine year old lays his head on my shoulder. I got overwhelmed, I missed them and my love for then made me want to cry. My perspective shifted and I remembered the line from the brilliant Lisa Jo Baker’s latest book The Middle Matters,

“I am not asking you to seize the day, just to make sure you actually see it.” – The Middle Matters

So many times I allow the sense of overwhelm take over and I cannot wait to get out of the moments I am in. I cannot wait until, the kids are settled, sleeping, older, quieter or even gone to school. I realize I waste so much of my current moments getting sucked into wishing for different times and I completely forget to see the precious and delicious moments I am currently in.

As we get older we look back on the ‘good ol’times’ with nostalgia and desire to go back. Right now, today I am in the good old days I will look back on, (Hopefully when I am surrounded by my grandchildren and reminding myself they get to go home with their parents, lol). Nonetheless I needed to get out of the rut of longing for a different time and see the moments I am in, before I miss them altogether.

I have the amazing privilege to stay home with my little ones and I have started to make that effort to start earnestly seeing the moments laid before me. It is okay to feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time, but I am working diligently to stop wishing for something different and start finding joy in the moment I am in. Being present is one of the best gifts I can give my children and I know I have a lot more I can give.

x. earnest mom.

Body Safety. An Earnest Effort.

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Trigger Warning. This article will be discussing Body Safety as a Preventative to childhood abuse.

Coming from a family and culture that has direct ties to Native American Residential School and the effects that it has had on generations known to me – teaching accurate and honest body safety to my children is a crucial tool for me to exercise as a mom. Our children are innocent and a vulnerable population – something I hope to share with other moms to help prevent our children being hurt or taken advantage of sexually.

In an effort to earnestly teach my children about body safety and appropriate behavior a few years back, I stumbled across an excellent video and resources about children and their bodies staying safe. As a parent I worry about SO many things including the people my children may come into contact with. Teaching body safety can equip children to report or avoid being taken advantage of straightaway. The following information is from https://e2epublishing.info/ an organization that has free posters/printables and literature all about children and empowering body safety. Body Safety Poster is attached at the end of the article.

Check out this video below; it was and is a great tool that I have used to teach my children about their bodies and body safety. It is succinct and super kid friendly. https://youtu.be/u03EHVf-7vI

It is statistically proven that using anatomically correct terms for all body parts can be a prevention to sexual abuse. This is something we have done since we began speaking to our first born as a new born.

Recent research shows that knowing the correct anatomical terms enhances kids’ body image, self-confidence, and openness. It also discourages their susceptibility to molesters. When children are abused, having the correct language helps both the child and adults deal with disclosure and—if necessary—the forensic interview process.

According to Laura Palumbo of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, “We need all adults to be partners in teaching healthy childhood sexual development, and square one is body parts. Educators and parents should communicate accurately, without stigma or shame.” 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are

In addtion, we practice a “family code word.” Our family code word is a word that our children know so if there is ever an emergency and earnest dad or I need to send someone to pick them up, that designated person will know our code word. When they hear that word, they will know that this person is a safe person sent by mommy or daddy to take care of them. We actually used it when my oldest was in Kindy, my mom was in town and she and my sister went to pick him up. He knows them and loves them but when he saw it was not me picking him up, he immediately asked for our code word; when they told him the right word, knew he was good to go with them.

Also in the earnest home, we press that there are no secrets between us. None. Surprises are okay, especially if at least one adult in the home knows about them but secrets we do not keep. We try to keep a safe and open relationship with our earnest littles, always pressing that we will love them no matter what. If someone is pressuring them to keep a secret from us, we need to know to be safe for everyone.

Remember, it is never to early to teach about body safety with your children (staying age appropriate in information and practices). Doing so empowers them to be the boss of their own bodies and can help in preventing them being taken advantage of. This is an extremely sensitive topic for some and I want to acknowledge the hurt or pain that may come from reading this and let you know, moms and dads you are seen, loved and not alone; teaching safety can help and heal.

x. earnest mom.

Body Safety Poster mentioned above, from https://e2epublishing.info/posters#postersus: