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Oh Boy!! From Two to Three…WOW.

As a mom of three now, life IS so different. People used to tell me that the biggest transition when having kids was going from 2 kids to 3. Well of course, I am one of the moms that have my own opinions until I experience it and it was TRUE!!  In all my life, going from two children to three has absolutely been one of the hardest transitions.  Earnest dad and I are officially outnumbered.

Our oldest, Earnest Boy 1.0 is in school Monday through Friday and that helps during the days, but he is 8 and needs his mama in ways completely different from the other two. Earnest Babe, she is now 3 and fill of energy, life, goldfish and lollies (they are vitamin C pops by YUMEARTH lol). We often struggle to find a happy medium between playing enough together as every 2 hours I am nursing, changing diapers and swaddling/rocking baby to sleep.  Of course, the Disney Dance Parties help satisfy her playfulness and gets mama a bit if cardio (Lord knows I could use more!).  The littlest, Earnest Boy 2.0 is well, a new wee babe and is awful demanding in the cutest ways!

Earnest Dad works two jobs so I can be home with the littles and so often when he is home, I am leaning on him 100% – in this life, I would be LOST without him.  Earnest Grammy (my MIL) recently moved across the street and what a help she has been in this crazy time of my motherhood journey.

A few weeks back all the demands took their toll and I found myself, after the older two were in bed, in tears.  I was exhausted, the house was a wreck, I had dry shampooed for about three days straight (mom talk for had not showered in 3 days), I am pretty sure we were all out of clean clothes and my fuel tank was empty. I remember Earnest Dad taking Earnest Boy 2.0, and telling me to go take a shower.   You better believe that night I left the conditioner in an extra 5 minutes.  In that shower, I had a huge wake up call; I was at the end of the 4th trimester, I was feeling more like a human again after giving birth but I had not been alone for more than 20 minutes in three months.  I needed me time.  I needed to take some time to “refuel” so I could be better for my family.  What good was I as a stay at home mom if I was completely depleted?

Earnest Reader, I tell you now – I know moms need to take care of themselves so they can take care of others, but as noted early on I am one who needs to experience it to “get it.”  And now, I get it!  That weekend, I went and got my hair done.  Honestly, something I had not done in a decade.  Typically, I would just run to the closest quick cut place when the necessity of a cut came and in the interim I would just cut my hair myself.  Getting out and doing something for just me, made me feel new again.  Like I had shed the old skin of: pregnancy, delivery and postpartum delirium; and emerged a new brilliant, fresh, revived creature.

Since then, I have taken the time when all are in bed to paint my nails, because I love how I feel when my nails are painted. When I have a quiet moment, I read which is a great favorite of mine.  I have also taken the opportunity to go out with a few mom friends here and there.  These have all been #momlife changing for me.  Pushing myself to take time for me, separate from the kids, and my husband and just focus on me has been incredible.

Yes, we still have crazy days where the kids are having what feels like screaming competitions or challenging each other to see who can tell me “no” the most.  We still have days where the  laundry sits unfolded until we have worn it all and are all out of clean clothes; or dishes that sit in the sink for a few days and I earnestly consider tossing the whole lot and buying all new sets, lol.  But those days do not seem so cumbersome or overwhelming with these intentional breaks that I am taking.  Helping me take care of me, helps me be a more earnest mom!  This is one time, for the first time in my life that I am being completely selfish and feel wonderful about it!

What advice do you moms have out there for spreading yourself evenly to reach all demands but avoid feeling like that clumpy peanut butter that just ends up ripping the bread apart?  Please share, whether you have one or nine, how do you make time for you?

x.  earnest mom

 

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“You’re a SAHM?! How lucky!”

“You are a stay at home mom? You are so lucky.”

More often than not when I am asked what I do for a living and I respond that I stay home with my kids, their response always has to do with how lucky I am. Lucky.  And more often than not, I smile and nod and agree with them, not to offend them by correcting their assumption.

Lucky to stay home with my children indicates that by some “good fortune” or “as luck would have it” I just fell into the magical role of being a stay at home mom. This could not be more wrong. Luck has nothing to do with our family’s decision to keep me home.  Truthfully, I really do feel blessed to stay home but luck has nothing to do with it.

When we were expecting our second child, looking at current childcare bills and our income level we knew that if I did go back after she was born, my whole paycheck would go towards childcare. I would be working so someone else could raise my children and every week I would just hand them my paycheck. Then there was the desire to be home with my little ones and be able to take care of them in our home with our own ideals and values.

There is nothing easy about this decision. The days are long, they are exhausting and they can be hard. Having a three month old, a three year old and a seven year old – the house gets pretty busy, pretty fast. Waking every two hours is exhausting, even though I had done it with the previous two, maybe because I have more kids to worry about during the day, and I am older now, it is tough.

Being on one income is also difficult, we do not vacation or have exotic trips, our house is not big or updated, our cars are regular old reliables and our kids do not have the best of the best because any more than what we have is simply not affordable. It can be tough, but it is a choice so I can be home, definitely not luck. That being said, I love our home, our family game nights and the memories we do make as we truly are blessed to have each other.

So, all you stay at home moms out there, I see you. I know there are rich rewards and many blessings that make the sacrifices worth it, but I also know that sacrifice is hard. I see you, I know that your situation did not come by simple luck but continues to be good because of your hard work. Hang in their mama, the days are long but the years are short. And do not let someone’s assumption of luck take away from all that work you do every single day (and night!!) without being asked, without pay and day after day without a break. You are seen, you are loved and these will be the “good ol’ days” that you will look back on. I am right here with ya!

x. em.

PS – working moms, I see you too. You are loved, you are just as cherished and you work just as hard. Mommin’ just aint easy, but we are all in this together. ❤️