As a mom of three now, life IS so different. People used to tell me that the biggest transition when having kids was going from 2 kids to 3. Well of course, I am one of the moms that have my own opinions until I experience it and it was TRUE!! In all my life, going from two children to three has absolutely been one of the hardest transitions. Earnest dad and I are officially outnumbered.
Our oldest, Earnest Boy 1.0 is in school Monday through Friday and that helps during the days, but he is 8 and needs his mama in ways completely different from the other two. Earnest Babe, she is now 3 and fill of energy, life, goldfish and lollies (they are vitamin C pops by YUMEARTH lol). We often struggle to find a happy medium between playing enough together as every 2 hours I am nursing, changing diapers and swaddling/rocking baby to sleep. Of course, the Disney Dance Parties help satisfy her playfulness and gets mama a bit if cardio (Lord knows I could use more!). The littlest, Earnest Boy 2.0 is well, a new wee babe and is awful demanding in the cutest ways!
Earnest Dad works two jobs so I can be home with the littles and so often when he is home, I am leaning on him 100% – in this life, I would be LOST without him. Earnest Grammy (my MIL) recently moved across the street and what a help she has been in this crazy time of my motherhood journey.
A few weeks back all the demands took their toll and I found myself, after the older two were in bed, in tears. I was exhausted, the house was a wreck, I had dry shampooed for about three days straight (mom talk for had not showered in 3 days), I am pretty sure we were all out of clean clothes and my fuel tank was empty. I remember Earnest Dad taking Earnest Boy 2.0, and telling me to go take a shower. You better believe that night I left the conditioner in an extra 5 minutes. In that shower, I had a huge wake up call; I was at the end of the 4th trimester, I was feeling more like a human again after giving birth but I had not been alone for more than 20 minutes in three months. I needed me time. I needed to take some time to “refuel” so I could be better for my family. What good was I as a stay at home mom if I was completely depleted?
Earnest Reader, I tell you now – I know moms need to take care of themselves so they can take care of others, but as noted early on I am one who needs to experience it to “get it.” And now, I get it! That weekend, I went and got my hair done. Honestly, something I had not done in a decade. Typically, I would just run to the closest quick cut place when the necessity of a cut came and in the interim I would just cut my hair myself. Getting out and doing something for just me, made me feel new again. Like I had shed the old skin of: pregnancy, delivery and postpartum delirium; and emerged a new brilliant, fresh, revived creature.
Since then, I have taken the time when all are in bed to paint my nails, because I love how I feel when my nails are painted. When I have a quiet moment, I read which is a great favorite of mine. I have also taken the opportunity to go out with a few mom friends here and there. These have all been #momlife changing for me. Pushing myself to take time for me, separate from the kids, and my husband and just focus on me has been incredible.
Yes, we still have crazy days where the kids are having what feels like screaming competitions or challenging each other to see who can tell me “no” the most. We still have days where the laundry sits unfolded until we have worn it all and are all out of clean clothes; or dishes that sit in the sink for a few days and I earnestly consider tossing the whole lot and buying all new sets, lol. But those days do not seem so cumbersome or overwhelming with these intentional breaks that I am taking. Helping me take care of me, helps me be a more earnest mom! This is one time, for the first time in my life that I am being completely selfish and feel wonderful about it!
What advice do you moms have out there for spreading yourself evenly to reach all demands but avoid feeling like that clumpy peanut butter that just ends up ripping the bread apart? Please share, whether you have one or nine, how do you make time for you?
x. earnest mom