Category: Family

Grace over Chaos: Earnestly Homeschooling Multiple Ages.

Grace over Chaos: Earnestly Homeschooling Multiple Ages.

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

In my wee early home school days, I was overwhelmed. The idea of having to break my day up between three children was daunting. Their age levels and individual curriculum made it even harder. I didn’t want to feel exhausted. I thought to schedule each separately. I wanted to leave lots of time for independent work. However, I learned quickly that independent work was not reasonable for a then 9, 5 and 2 year old. It’s worth noting the 2 year old was not being schooled. Then I found Gather ‘Round.

This is not a sponsored review just a recommendation from one home school family to another. Gather ‘Round has saved my sanity. This is curriculum is a Charlotte Mason approach that is rich in literature and hands on activities. What I love most is that there is one lesson, yes, ONE LESSON for all children. Keep in mind that a parent reads the lesson. This takes about 20-30 minutes if you use resources. Then each child has their own developmentally appropriate workbook. With a high-schooler, upper elementary and early reader, their time spent on each lesson in their workbook varies.

Our home school day starts in the afternoon. I let my children sleep and get all of the rest their growing brains need. This means wake up times are staggered. It looks like 8 am for our 7-year-old, 9 am for our 10-year-old, and sometimes 9:30/10 am. We get chores and breakfast done before noon. Then lunch followed by lessons from 1-3:30. I love having slow, easy mornings. This is especially true in the summer when the best time to be outside is before 11 am!

Starting at 1 pm we have a read aloud, a chapter book that goes along with our unit that month. We choose all of our units at the start of the school year. This way, each kiddo gets a say in what we learn. I find if they choose they stay interested longer. After the read aloud, we jump right into the lesson. Then workbook time, while the younger two finish up earlier than my high school kiddo, they get math in. Once my oldest is done his workbook, he moves into independent math work. The rest of the day is ours to spend in any way we would like! Some days we get it all done perfectly, other days we finish early due to life demands. What I love most about home school is we get to make it work for our family and our needs.

When we first started I thought I had replicate what institutional school looked like, at home. I learned after year 2 that it does not have to be that way. If I am being honest, I felt more pressure from others to make home school look like the institution. The freedom we found when we realized it does not have to be that way was liberating. We get to go at our pace, in our time, with our interests. I had to stop letting people influence us. These people are not teaching our children. They are not raising our children. We did it. We started our own path. Of course, following all of our state home school laws in the process.

The sanity saving for me was letting go of the performance mindset. Performing how education, socialized, etc, that my children were for others to see. Stop performing institution school at home, and allowing my children to bloom into the people God made them to be. Giving us the freedom to go at our pace, never behind, just always right where we should be. This grace is something I have to remind myself of daily. For my children, I found it is necessary to offer grace and lots and lots of snacks!

Every home school is just as diverse as the families are every where. This is simply what works for us!

Navigating Parenting in a Digital Age: Let’s Earnestly Talk Teens and Cellphones

Navigating Parenting in a Digital Age: Let’s Earnestly Talk Teens and Cellphones

by earnestmomblog ♥ 1 Comment

Cell phones. We all know them, most of us have them, some of us love them, some of us hate them. Some days I feel tethered to this tiny pocket computer. It has me wanting to throw it away. Then I realize how much I depend on it. We are self employed and every call is potential income – this pressure can be a lot. Then there is the scrolling, listening, reading and mindless games that I use it for to. As a 40 year old adult with a fully formed brain, there are times I struggle to regulate on my phone. So when it came to the decision to introduce a cell phone to our oldest, we were weary and hesitant.

The first requests for a cell phone came as early as 8 years old. We shrugged them off with the answer, “You can have a phone when you go to college.” We were certain about one thing. We were not going to consider a phone before the age of 13. Once 13 came around, our now teen was asking for a phone. We home school, and he spends most weeknights at karate. Otherwise, we spend most of our time together. He was asking for a phone mainly for entertainment and talking to friends. We decided to revisit it in one year.

In that year, I did research. Brain development and behavior related teen and child phone usage. The findings were worrisome at best. The dopamine-driven feedback loops (or dopamine hits that our brain gets from digital stimulation) was most alarming. This happens every time we get a notification or find something new and exciting, our brains gets a small dopamine hit. This reward comes to us at unpredictable intervals and our brains get hooked on the need for more. As an adult, I have concerns about what this is doing to my brain. Yes, I do have social media. Yes, I do struggle and use phone limits as reminders to stop scrolling. With this in mind, a big question I had was, how will this impact my teen’s growing brain? This kept me in the no camp for sure on cell phones. There of course are many other concerns but this one, on a developmental level was once of my biggest.

A year later, he was now 14 and asking again and again for a cell phone. So my husband, our teen and myself had a discussion…actually we had many discussions about getting a cell phone. We came to a resolve that our 14 year old would have to write us two 5 paragraph essays. One essay had to tackle the negative effects of cell phones and social media on teens today. The second essay needed to be persuasive. It should explain, with references, why he should still get a cell phone after all he had learned. This was early 2024. By Christmas, we had received 2 papers. They had been written, revised, and rewritten a few times. After more discussions around what his findings here, we decided to get him a cell phone.

The influence of social media was another concern, and on this topic we have decided no social media until 18. Our son actually came up with this plan. He decided not to be on social media. He made this decision after doing the research and learning about how social media is affecting his peers. He could not believe the way social media interactions was negatively impacting teens his age and even people he knew. He decided that all social media was not good until you are an adult and maybe even after that.

Once we decided to get the phone, we had lots of discussion. We talked about how the phone will be used. We also discussed why, when, and where it will be used. Who will be on his phone, who can have access to him. I am still uneasy at how intimate texting can be, something I struggle to balance too. We installed an AMAZING parental control app (Aura). We then talked about time limits, safe apps and what we expect. I have heard of some parents having a written contract. We decided, however, to build an experience around ‘being a man of your word.’ We honor all we commit to, even verbal agreements. Ground rules for every family will be different. I will not be explicit here. However, we lean more towards conservative usage than liberal.

The phone has been in our teen’s hands for 6 months now and it has not been without its hiccups. I am thankful for those times though. As parents, we are still able to guide and coach our teen. We help him through life situations that some teens may hide or feel alone in. He still has mom and dad in his corner. No matter what he is facing, we are thankful to be alongside him in this space. We have many discussions on appropriate language and behavior on text. We emphasize using manners with friends and respecting boundaries. We also focus on establishing boundaries early and often for healthy friendships. These friendships are important even if they are mainly through text and digital spaces.

There are many resources available about cell phone and social media effects on teens and children. One resource I love is Wait Until 8th. The site is full of resources. It supports families dealing with phones and social media. It also has a pledge. Wait until the end of 8th grade (or later) before giving our children a smart phone. We learned about Wait Until 8th at the end of last year. I have already taken the pledge for my youngest earnest kiddos. By default, our oldest was in 9th before he got his smart phone. Looking for a community waiting on smart phone use with kids? Take the pledge with me and get the support you need as a parent. Let’s wait until after 8th together.

Let me know if you are taking the pledge!

And remember, we are getting through motherhood together, one EARNEST MOMent at a time – you are not alone mama.

Love, Earnest Mom

Happy Mother’s Day – An Earnest Thank You

Happy Mother’s Day – An Earnest Thank You

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

To the momma who woke up today exhausted but still packed the lunched, got down the cereal and kissed little foreheads – you are doing wonderfully.

To the momma who is waking in those bleary eyed nights answering the call of a hungry infant pushing through the fog to smile and coo – you are seen and your love will be felt for decades.

To the momma who is carefully navigating toddler fits, teen attitudes or the aching silence of your newly emptied nest – you are known by a God who calls you His, and His love will cover when you feel you cannot do much more.

To the momma who works outside or inside her home, or the one that does both – your sacrifices matter even when you feel they go unnoticed.

To the momma who is elbow deep in curriculum while one is moaning about school work and the other is asking for another snack – you are not alone, motherhood has power when we are in it together.

To the mommas who are grieving, praying, hoping or remembering today – you are held close in my heart, and in the hands of our Saviour.

An earnest thanks to you – for the kisses on boo-boos, for the quiet prayers, for fierce protection, the sleepless nights, the pangs of labor. There is not one perfect way to be a mother, some days feel victorious, others like total fails, but you keep showing up.

You are wonderfully made, the exact mom that was created for your exact children, with the strength of a love that grew within you before you even held them. On the days you do not feel strong or confident, remember you are the steady heartbeat of your home.

Happy Mother’s Day. You are doing kingdom work.

Love, Earnest Mom