Tag: motherhood

We Mix the Play Dough.

We Mix the Play Dough.

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I will admit. I was not the mixing of the play dough colors kind of girl. I like things just so. Order, proper places, and keeping things neat and tidy. I like to know that when I go looking for something in it’s rightful place, it will be there. Then I had kids.

Keeping up the house, having dinner on time, kids in line, making all my own “homemade” everything, keeping all the crayons sorted and NOT mixing the play dough colors. That is how my parenting style looked, before I had actual real, brilliant, wild, breathing, crying, incredibly full of life children. I could leave a list here of all the things my imaginary kids were NOT going to do, then give the perfect counter as to how my real life children have done or are currently doing all those things.

Rigidity in motherhood for me was a fallacy. It took a while to learn that being flexible, honest with my emotions and not ‘keeping everything together always,’ was what would be best. Early on as a mom to one, I was one of the few in my group of friends and family to have children. My son was adored by my siblings, grandparents, parents, and friends; he was so loved. He grew up enjoying one on one with his father and I, and excelled in language skills holding conversations with adults by the time he was 4. He was amazing, and he is still a rock star at 11, in my honest and totally unbiased opinion but I digress. Then we had our daughter. Life changed, for the better but not in ease.

Overnight, our daughter was born and I went from a full-time working mom of one to a stay at home mom of two. Talk about learning a new way of life, I am not afraid to admit that I was wholly unprepared for the challenges as a stay at home mom but we survived. In the midst of recovery and getting settled with a new little person, we moved states. A move that took me away from my family, friends, and village; then opened wounds and showed vulnerabilities I did not know I had. Relocating is not easy, reestablishing and making a home somewhere other than the only home I knew was a bit traumatic. It was tear-filled, fear-filled and over all a learning experience. Did I mention that I like things to be just so?

Then there were three. Three years of getting settled into a new state, we were a family of five. I always heard how three changes everything, and much to my chagrin it proved to be true. Our loveable, strong, honest, loud, happy, snuggly, kind-hearted Wreck-it-Ralph came barreling into our lives. Our family dynamic changed. Breakables were placed high, but when climbing began most were eventually stored for safety. Church service is exhausting as I chase, play, distract and feed our busy little man. He is so full of life it literally bursts over everyone we come into contact with. He mixes the play dough, he mixes all the colors; then he mixes it with sand, water, food, or anything else that brings playful joy to his big old heart. Toys are dumped and thoroughly played with; passion roars from him like a lion and love comes out gentle as a bunny. He is the wild to my quiet, the chaos to my perfection, the love and life that my heart never knew it needed.

After three kids, homeschooling, a pandemic and the change to rules/opinions daily we find refuge in our home. Here it is safe, here we have order among the wild things, and we are learning to love deeper, respect more and most of all, learning to become the people God has designed us to be. When I started out in motherhood I would cry in frustration when things were not just so, when my plans would get muddled and mixed and I felt like things were out of control. Now, the phrase I often heard “blessed are the flexible for they shall not break” rings true every single day. Here, we mix the play dough colors; which is still hard for my first born as he was raised with more of a rigid mom who taught him we had to keep things the ‘right’ way, a mom who was quick to react and slow to listen. Now he has a more flexible, albeit less stressed (well sort of) mom and we are learning the power bending and not breaking together in life. In the flexibility we have found happiness, we have found resilience and now we are growing together. It is not always easy and there are fractures from past rigid moments that can make things stressful, but slowly the as we stretch old wounds they begin to flex and not hurt so much.

“When the milk is splattered all over the floor, and those little eyes are looking at your for your reaction, remember what really matters. It takes 5 minutes to clean up spilled milk. It takes much longer to clean up a broken spirit.”

Rebecca Eanes, The Gift of a Happy Mother.

I saw this truth just this week. My children love balloons, and I love to have them for fun occasions. Recently we surprised them with 22 inch balloons for a homeschool celebration. I made the rules clear, the balloons are for floating and leaving alone today and tomorrow they could have at them. Half way through the day, my youngest wild one who is 4, was sprawled out facedown on the floor crying, I sat down next to him and said “It sounds like you are feeling upset. Did something happen you want to share?” As he sobbed he cried out “I popped one of the balloons!” Immediately my heart broke, I thought ‘Oh no, is he crying because he is afraid of getting in trouble?’ So I responded, “Ok, the balloon broke. Can you tell me why you are crying?” He responded “I broke the rules and I am so sorry. Do you forgive me?” Could I have disciplined him? Sure, he did not listen and the balloon broke, but I realized his heart was already sore because he chose to break the rules and he knew it was wrong. Lesson learned.

Talk about unpacking some personal trauma – I decided to be the adult I needed when I was too scared to tell my parents my mistakes, and I often hid from them. I asked him for a hug, and as we sat on the floor, cheek to cheek, heart to heart I thanked him for his honesty, and even though he knew it was wrong he chose truth, and told him that I forgave him. I reminded him (even though he is only 4) that I am always here for him and no matter what I love him. This child who has ran naked through the middle aisle of the church, who mixes all the play dough colors has caused a great work to come upon my heart.

I am not perfect, no way do I get this parenting thing right every time but moments like that remind me how far I have grown. A decade ago, when I preferred things ‘just so’ I subconsciously placed unfair expectations on my children. I judged my mothering success by their behaviors, but slowly as we have mixed the crayons, spilled the milk, been too loud, ran too hard and broke the mold that I was placing us in – I have taken that unfair pressure off of all of us and started enjoying the ‘new’ that we create when we mix the play dough. To this day, I organize the kids books in my living room according to color. Yep. I place them in order ROYGBIV and when I sit down to relax after a stay at home/homeschool day, that sight relaxes me. No one sees it but me, and a few days later I am left to sort them again – the way I like it because I like the way it feels. In this small way, my ‘just so’ attitude gets satiated. I was not one to mix the playdough colors but I love how motherhood is molding me into something new, different and dare I say…better.

Remember mamas, we are in this, one Earnest MOMent at a time!

Love, Earnest Mom

The View From Our Table: What’s Cooking at 10 Garden Street

The View From Our Table: What’s Cooking at 10 Garden Street

by earnestmomblog ♥ 1 Comment

The view from our table will be a feature where we look at some fun things we have done in our homeschool.

We are the kind of homeschool family that homeschools in the summer. It is less formal and much shorter, but we are a family that is constantly learning together. One our favorite times is “Morning Time.” We often start our homeschool days at the dinner table with our basket of books. Mama reads while the littles keep their hands busy with handicrafts. We love it.

This summer we decided to read, What’s Cooking at 10 Garden Street by Felicita Sala (can be purchased here – non affiliate link). This book was given to us by a dear friend who thought that we would have fun with it. We had so much fun!

Each page introduces the reader to recipes from all over the world. Salmorejo (a cold soup served with ham and boiled eggs), Little Trees (stir fried broccoli), Sole Meuniere, to name a few. Each day, we reread the book and then we chose a recipe we wanted to try. (I even discovered a mild allergy to pine nuts lol).

We had a such a blast trying flavors from all over the world and felt like we were joining the neighborhood for their pot luck feast at the end of the book. The illustrations are lovely and recipes rich and flavorful. So far this is one of the tastiest and fun books we have chosen for our morning time adventures.

If you are looking for something fun that will introduce your palate to flavors from many cultures, we highly recommend this favorite from our table. It has been a great way to try foods and cook with the three wild and three free and me!

Guest Feature: Become a Super-Parent with These Top Apps

Guest Feature: Become a Super-Parent with These Top Apps

by earnestmomblog ♥ 1 Comment

Photo by Pixabay

3wild3free is honored to have Leslie Campos, from https://wellparents.com/ to share more brilliant tips for parents and navigating the apps that are available to help a mother out!

Let’s face it: Parenting is hard work. And if you’re a new parent, no matter how many preparations you make, you’ll still face the unexpected when it comes to caring for your new baby. That’s because babies don’t come with a manual. The good news, though, is that technology has advanced by leaps and bounds, and smartphones provide apps that can help make life with a new baby a bit easier to navigate. 

Top Apps That Make Caring for Your Baby Easier

When you’re searching for baby-caring apps, you’re best off trying singular-function ones instead of all-in-one apps. Since you’ll be spending a lot of your time caring for your baby, you want easy-to-use apps that are available when you need them. The following apps are a great place to start.

WebMD Baby

With the WebMD Baby app, you’ll get access to trusted, physician-approved health and wellness information at your fingertips. With this app, you can also track important baby information and milestones. It’s a baby book, a place to ask a pediatrician for advice, a way to track your baby’s growth and development so that you can keep them on schedule, and more. Track feedings, nursing, sleep, and diaper changes as well. 

Baby Monitor 3G

Baby Monitor 3G is a unique monitoring app that uses your devices to keep you aware of your baby while they are in the other room. In the baby’s room, you’ll place a smart device or laptop that will monitor your baby and transmit audio and video via Wi-Fi or cellular connection to your device, where you’ll see a live, real-time feed of your child so that you can monitor them remotely and attend to them should the need arise. Setup is quick and easy, and you can even use it across different platforms. There’s also an activity log to track sleeping patterns. The app is secure and reliable, and the next logical step in baby-monitoring solutions.

Day One

If you’re a journal lover who likes to track every detail of your life, the Day One app is perfect for simplifying the important aspects of your life. Keep a workout log, gratitude journal, food diary, baby journal, or anything that needs writing down. You can add photos to your entries, and a passcode to protect your journal so it stays private. You can even dictate your entries! It’s the perfect way to keep track of your daily life in a simple, easy-to-use format.

Baby Sign and Learn Lite

This app may not seem useful at first, but sign language is a baby’s first language. Before your child can speak, they still need to communicate their needs and wants to you. Mostly, they’ll do it through crying, but eventually, their little brains can understand hand gestures. Baby Sign and Learn Lite is the free version and a great starter app for teaching and learning simple signs that you’ll need most, like “more,” “eat,” “please,” and “milk.” Using this app and practicing with your child will help both of you close the communication gap, which can lead to a happier baby whose needs are met quicker.

Redfin App

Last but not least, using an app to look for a new, bigger home for your expanding family will help make the process a little easier. While it won’t replace working with a real estate agent, something like the Redfin app can help you get the process rolling without leaving your baby’s side. Not only can you use different filters to narrow the scope of your search, but you can also take a peek inside homes using the app’s virtual walkthrough feature. Once you have an idea of what you’re looking for, you can get in contact with a Realtor to guide you through the rest of the home-buying process.

When you’re new to navigating parenthood, life can throw a lot of curveballs, but it doesn’t have to be so difficult. No matter what you choose, your smartphone can be another tool in your parenting adventure, and there’s an app for just about everything.