Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

Motherhood is earnestly beautiful – but it can also be lonely.

We spend our days pouring out – packing lunches, reading stories, wiping tears (and bottoms). And while our hearts are full of love for our family, many of us have the quiet worry… Who is pouring into me??

God never meant for us to be alone, not in life and especially not in motherhood.

We are created for connection, for laughter across the kitchen table. For prayers whispered over coffee. For a knowing glance or silent hand squeeze in the toughest of times. Moments that say, we are in this together.

The thing about motherhood, with all its moving pieces, we find that friendships take a back seat and then it is hard to make new ones or even pick up old ones. Friendship in motherhood takes intention, and often takes courage. In a recent Ohio State University survey, 71% of moms said that the demands of parenthood made them feel lonely sometimes or a lot of the time. That is every 2 out of 3 moms you know or meet. The facts are staggering, and what’s more once we get into the that lonely place, it is so tough to get out.

Do not lose hope mama, it may take a little work, being a bit awkward but the truth is – we are all awkward and nervous. Here are some gentle steps you can take if you are craving deeper friendships this season.

  1. Be Brave enough to go first. Sometimes friendship starts with a simple smile or a brave “Hi!” at the park or in the church nursery room. It’s ok to feel nervous – you are not alone in that.
  2. Extend small invitations. You do not need to plan a big event or playdate – send a quick test saying “want to grab coffee?” or “want to join me for a stroller walk today?” These are great places to start mama, one small step at a time.
  3. Embrace imperfect connections. Friendships do not require dust free baseboards or a five course meal. Invite someone over, even if the laundry is out. Real connections grow in real life situations.
  4. Look for the mom standing alone. Maybe at church, the park or your local homeschool co-op, the library or even waiting outside the pick line at school. She is probably just a nervous as you but longing for a friend too!
  5. Ask God for friendship. Do not forget to pray! Ask the Lord to bring the right women into your life – someone who will see you, support you and will help you grow with him.

Mama, we were made for community. We were made for connection.

Be bold. Be kind. Be willing to go first. Be awkward. Be real. And walk in truth – it is hard to step out and make new friends, but it is harder to be in this alone. So, choose your hard mama. Sometimes the best of friendships began with a shared smile or a spare diaper, because you have run out of diapers while in the bathroom at a department store too.

I have included some sweet and simple ways to connect – Mom Connection Cards! Print the cards out, fill in your name and number and keep them in the diaper bag, purse or glove box. Hand them to another mom when the moment feels right – it is the first step that can lead to some beautiful rewards.

Remember, in motherhood we are in this together, one earnest MOMent at a time.

Love, Earnest Mom.

Coffee. An earnest, open letter to the extincted hot morning coffee of a stay at home mom. 

Coffee. An earnest, open letter to the extincted hot morning coffee of a stay at home mom. 

My first official blog…from 10 years ago. Still true for me mamas – kiddos are just older now (plus I added one more)! Enjoy.

Dearest Hot Cup of Coffee,

I must earnestly apologize for pouring you, mixing in creamer and setting you down – only to let you sit there and cool to room temperature with out one joyous sip while you are perfectly hot from the pot.  You should know, it is never my intent to leave you only to chug you down bitter cold – every morning I pour with hope my last sip will still simmer with love. Alas, this is not the case, and has not been the case in seven months. My mommy duties have pulled me away from our decade long morning relationship and I must admit I miss you so. I miss sitting, quietly inside or out, at home or at work, I miss it – that nice warm kiss of a first sip to help ease the morning and to help welcome the week on Mondays.

Sadly, you sit – alone on the table while earnest boy demands more waffles or eggs and earnest baby cries for more milk. Patiently you sit there, cooling alone while the earnest household bustles around you. You are so patient yet you cannot hold your heat, for I know you desire every drink of you to be warm with satisfying heat.

I’ve mistreated and neglected you and for that I’m truly sorry. I look forward for that day that once again, I will have slept the whole night and awakened refreshed, pushed your pots ON button and listen to you percolate in peace and anticipation.  I expect that day my children will be grown and I will have consumed gallons of cold versions of you only to avoid the afternoon headache of your absence. But that day, when it’s calm, quiet, just you and I and the rise of the sun, I will earnestly sip and enjoy every mouthful of your glory and that day will be wonderful.

Until then, I will continue to pour with the same earnest hopes of heated delight, leave you there, then chug you down cold but know, I will always look to the future. As for now I have a sweet darling, growing earnest boy of five that I’m more than happy to give my earnest time to, and a sweet peachy earnest baby of seven months that has made life complete and I’m so blessed to give my restful night to. Until then, know my earnest love for your has never changed – only put on hold for a season.

With all my love for you,

earnest mom.