Author: Rebecca Grace || Earnest Mom

Earnest Mom follows our journey from a school based system into home learning with my wild and free three - and regular momming life. S (15), E (10) and J (7) are my three who make me want to be a better person every single day. We love God, reading aloud, sharing stories, building blocks, nature hikes, family suppers, and trying to be kind caring humans to those around us. Home learning is a whole new world to us and we are so thankful that you have stopped in to join the ride. Follow us on Instagram @earnestmomblog Bless, Rebecca
Status

Earnestly Seeing the Moment. The Overwhelming Moments of a SAHM.

by Rebecca Grace || Earnest Mom ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Let me set the scene, it is after dinner and usually the dishes wait until after the kids go to bed…or sometimes until the following morning. Anyway, it is after dinner, we have full bellies, family conversations have ended and next we watch a show or two then start bedtime routines. We head into the TV room, earnest dad kicks up his feet the in recliner and I am in my usual corner of the sectional. All of the sudden I cannot breathe – all three earnest littles are on top of me. Literally two on my lap and another snuggled so close next to me it almost hurts! To be honest, I get overwhelmed.

I am the type of person who likes her own space, I am a snuggler but after being home with the kids all day while earnest dad works – my love tank is full. I am ready for the littles to be all over daddy and let this mama breathe. I look over to earnest dad, reclined, relaxed and maybe even dozing a bit and I get overwhelmed.

There are times in the day, when the kids are running and screaming, fighting and crying, trying to pull me away from cooking dinner to “watch this” or they are too quiet and in a massive panic I rush in to see what is going on. In these moments I am desperate for earnest dad to walk through the door so I can pee alone or at least without children crying and banging down the door. Again, I find myself feeling overwhelmed.

That chaotic hour between home from school and dinner time, when I have to focus of chopping, boiling, tossing and cooking (food not my kids lol) are sometimes the craziest moments of the day. I have to be mom, tutor, playmate, personal chef, or heaven forbid the business phone rings and I have to toss all my hats off to wear the self employed secretary and scheduling hat. I am trying to keep it all together and sound professional, I get overwhelmed.

A few nights ago, kiddos all tucked up in bed and earnest dad working on his reports I was able to sit with my book and some tea, then I started reflecting on my day. It is such an incredible, blessed, exhausting, confidence testing, love never ending, over the top kind of ride, this wild ride that is motherhood. As I sat in my peace, my quiet, my still I start to already miss those squishy little feet tucked under my thigh, the warmth of the toddler and preschool bodies resting heavily on my lap and the arms of love intertwined on my arm as my nine year old lays his head on my shoulder. I got overwhelmed, I missed them and my love for then made me want to cry. My perspective shifted and I remembered the line from the brilliant Lisa Jo Baker’s latest book The Middle Matters,

“I am not asking you to seize the day, just to make sure you actually see it.” – The Middle Matters

So many times I allow the sense of overwhelm take over and I cannot wait to get out of the moments I am in. I cannot wait until, the kids are settled, sleeping, older, quieter or even gone to school. I realize I waste so much of my current moments getting sucked into wishing for different times and I completely forget to see the precious and delicious moments I am currently in.

As we get older we look back on the ‘good ol’times’ with nostalgia and desire to go back. Right now, today I am in the good old days I will look back on, (Hopefully when I am surrounded by my grandchildren and reminding myself they get to go home with their parents, lol). Nonetheless I needed to get out of the rut of longing for a different time and see the moments I am in, before I miss them altogether.

I have the amazing privilege to stay home with my little ones and I have started to make that effort to start earnestly seeing the moments laid before me. It is okay to feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time, but I am working diligently to stop wishing for something different and start finding joy in the moment I am in. Being present is one of the best gifts I can give my children and I know I have a lot more I can give.

x. earnest mom.

Body Safety. An Earnest Effort.

Body Safety. An Earnest Effort.

by Rebecca Grace || Earnest Mom ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Trigger Warning. This article will be discussing Body Safety as a Preventative to childhood abuse.

Coming from a family and culture that has direct ties to Native American Residential School and the effects that it has had on generations known to me – teaching accurate and honest body safety to my children is a crucial tool for me to exercise as a mom. Our children are innocent and a vulnerable population – something I hope to share with other moms to help prevent our children being hurt or taken advantage of sexually.

In an effort to earnestly teach my children about body safety and appropriate behavior a few years back, I stumbled across an excellent video and resources about children and their bodies staying safe. As a parent I worry about SO many things including the people my children may come into contact with. Teaching body safety can equip children to report or avoid being taken advantage of straightaway. The following information is from https://e2epublishing.info/ an organization that has free posters/printables and literature all about children and empowering body safety. Body Safety Poster is attached at the end of the article.

Check out this video below; it was and is a great tool that I have used to teach my children about their bodies and body safety. It is succinct and super kid friendly. https://youtu.be/u03EHVf-7vI

It is statistically proven that using anatomically correct terms for all body parts can be a prevention to sexual abuse. This is something we have done since we began speaking to our first born as a new born.

Recent research shows that knowing the correct anatomical terms enhances kids’ body image, self-confidence, and openness. It also discourages their susceptibility to molesters. When children are abused, having the correct language helps both the child and adults deal with disclosure and—if necessary—the forensic interview process.

According to Laura Palumbo of the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, “We need all adults to be partners in teaching healthy childhood sexual development, and square one is body parts. Educators and parents should communicate accurately, without stigma or shame.” 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/going-beyond-intelligence/201703/call-children-s-private-body-parts-what-they-are

In addtion, we practice a “family code word.” Our family code word is a word that our children know so if there is ever an emergency and earnest dad or I need to send someone to pick them up, that designated person will know our code word. When they hear that word, they will know that this person is a safe person sent by mommy or daddy to take care of them. We actually used it when my oldest was in Kindy, my mom was in town and she and my sister went to pick him up. He knows them and loves them but when he saw it was not me picking him up, he immediately asked for our code word; when they told him the right word, knew he was good to go with them.

Also in the earnest home, we press that there are no secrets between us. None. Surprises are okay, especially if at least one adult in the home knows about them but secrets we do not keep. We try to keep a safe and open relationship with our earnest littles, always pressing that we will love them no matter what. If someone is pressuring them to keep a secret from us, we need to know to be safe for everyone.

Remember, it is never to early to teach about body safety with your children (staying age appropriate in information and practices). Doing so empowers them to be the boss of their own bodies and can help in preventing them being taken advantage of. This is an extremely sensitive topic for some and I want to acknowledge the hurt or pain that may come from reading this and let you know, moms and dads you are seen, loved and not alone; teaching safety can help and heal.

x. earnest mom.

Body Safety Poster mentioned above, from https://e2epublishing.info/posters#postersus:

Status

Earnestly Breaking Up With Facebook.

by Rebecca Grace || Earnest Mom ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Facebook, it’s not you it is me…wait no, it is totally you.

Confession, I am a Facebook user however, it is one of those things in my life that has been causing more annoyance than anything. The rants, the politics, the over dramatized version of lives that I really can see through immediately and truly never care to know SO MUCH about. My least favorite are the posts that post some super hot topic as a question as right or wrong and says, “going to get popcorn and sit back and read.” Ugh.

Another confession, before Christmas I deleted Facebook off of my phone and really wanted to focus on the people around me versus those on a screen. Would you believe my screen time average dropped by 75%?! What was I doing on Facebook that much?! Who knows; but whatever it was made it enough that I decided to break up with it.

Do not get me wrong, Facebook can be used for good – it can, and I am not here to say that it is bad all around – just no longer something I want to have so much of in my life. I mean, I had become someone that says to my friends “well did you see my Facebook post?” Expecting them to be SO interested in my life that they would want to constantly see everything about me. When I realized that I decided – no more. I am now being intentional on sharing PERSONAL messages and pictures with family and friends in actual messages to them. Mind you, I still really enjoy seeing my friends and their children when they post – honestly, I do and I will continue to hit the virtual heart when I see them. I just need to reevaluate what Facebook means to me in my earnest life.

It was an amicable break. Clean, thoughtful and a beneficial one. Now I allow myself a few minutes where I intentionally get on my laptop, sign on and visit Facebook for a few moments a day. It has been more than a month and my average screen time is about 22-33 minutes a day (which includes the Pokemon Go we play as a family for fun).

I have had less opinions (well err gossip if I am being honest) of other peoples lives because I am not reading all about everyone every single day. I still text, reach and talk to people – a lot actually but my friendship cannot not measured by whether I choose to thumbs up or heart specific posts. And honestly I am a better and more intentional friend for it.

Sorry Facebook, it was kinda good while it lasted but I am moving on. I need less Facebook and more face time with the people in my life, including my husband, children and friends. They are SO worth it!