Category: Mommy Community

Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Motherhood is earnestly beautiful – but it can also be lonely.

We spend our days pouring out – packing lunches, reading stories, wiping tears (and bottoms). And while our hearts are full of love for our family, many of us have the quiet worry… Who is pouring into me??

God never meant for us to be alone, not in life and especially not in motherhood.

We are created for connection, for laughter across the kitchen table. For prayers whispered over coffee. For a knowing glance or silent hand squeeze in the toughest of times. Moments that say, we are in this together.

The thing about motherhood, with all its moving pieces, we find that friendships take a back seat and then it is hard to make new ones or even pick up old ones. Friendship in motherhood takes intention, and often takes courage. In a recent Ohio State University survey, 71% of moms said that the demands of parenthood made them feel lonely sometimes or a lot of the time. That is every 2 out of 3 moms you know or meet. The facts are staggering, and what’s more once we get into the that lonely place, it is so tough to get out.

Do not lose hope mama, it may take a little work, being a bit awkward but the truth is – we are all awkward and nervous. Here are some gentle steps you can take if you are craving deeper friendships this season.

  1. Be Brave enough to go first. Sometimes friendship starts with a simple smile or a brave “Hi!” at the park or in the church nursery room. It’s ok to feel nervous – you are not alone in that.
  2. Extend small invitations. You do not need to plan a big event or playdate – send a quick test saying “want to grab coffee?” or “want to join me for a stroller walk today?” These are great places to start mama, one small step at a time.
  3. Embrace imperfect connections. Friendships do not require dust free baseboards or a five course meal. Invite someone over, even if the laundry is out. Real connections grow in real life situations.
  4. Look for the mom standing alone. Maybe at church, the park or your local homeschool co-op, the library or even waiting outside the pick line at school. She is probably just a nervous as you but longing for a friend too!
  5. Ask God for friendship. Do not forget to pray! Ask the Lord to bring the right women into your life – someone who will see you, support you and will help you grow with him.

Mama, we were made for community. We were made for connection.

Be bold. Be kind. Be willing to go first. Be awkward. Be real. And walk in truth – it is hard to step out and make new friends, but it is harder to be in this alone. So, choose your hard mama. Sometimes the best of friendships began with a shared smile or a spare diaper, because you have run out of diapers while in the bathroom at a department store too.

I have included some sweet and simple ways to connect – Mom Connection Cards! Print the cards out, fill in your name and number and keep them in the diaper bag, purse or glove box. Hand them to another mom when the moment feels right – it is the first step that can lead to some beautiful rewards.

Remember, in motherhood we are in this together, one earnest MOMent at a time.

Love, Earnest Mom.

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Navigating Parenting in a Digital Age: Earnest Insights from the 2025 Common Sense Summit

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My oldest and I were recently invited to sit on a panel for the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families. The event took place in San Francisco last week. We discussed parenthood in this digital time. We sat with resident Aura Chief Medical Officer, Scott Kollins; the amazing Editor in Chief for Parent Magazine, Grace Bastidas; and Jill Murphy, the Chief Content Officer for Common Sense Media. To say we sat among giants in the tech field would be an understatement of this 2-day event. This summit gave stage to many voices that need to be heard. These included youth voices, policymakers, and experts in adolescence and brain science. It allowed tech companies that need to hear them to listen.

The Common Sense Summit was organized by Common Sense Media (CSM), it is a parent tech support website. I have referenced it as a tool I use to navigate movie, book, and game content. I do this before my children view, read, or play them. This was the second annual event for CSM, and it was eye-opening for me; here are my earnest takeaways.

Parents feel lonely while navigating this space. I received an overwhelming outpouring of appreciation from fellow blog moms, podcasters, and women in technology. They thanked me for speaking up for parents in this space. I met so many parents. They feel like technology and their children are an incredible demand on them. There are few or no resources available for them. The research is being done and stats are rolling in; this tech world is more dangerous than we thought. I do not want to take away from the distinct advantages that technology can bring to our world. It can even enhance learning and experiences for children. However, the mass unregulated content that is available today is causing harm and trauma to children. This is no light issue. As a mom to three, I favor the “less is best” policy when it comes to technology. This policy, according to this conference, landed my family in the “outlier” category. Wherever parents stand on when and how to give tech/screens to their children, the common feeling is this is hard. We are going at it alone.

The next takeaway is that tech companies care, but it feels surface-level. This conference was sold out, and from Apple to YouTube to Anthropic, companies were here to listen. Unfortunately, I struggle to see the action behind this listening. As a parent, it feels as though tech companies will say the right things. However, our children are still left vulnerable in areas that are growing so quickly. It feels impossible to keep up with them. The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt is an eye-opening book. It discusses the real toll that “phone-based childhoods” are taking on our next generations (a read I highly recommend). All the while, big tech companies are adding more and more ways to have apps hidden on phones. These apps are masked as safe. More content is available for young eyes before their brains are ready. However, one of the stars that stood out to me from this conference was Bill Ready, CEO of Pinterest. He shared the levels that Pinterest has gone to in order to keep it safe for children. As a result, it is not like other social media. I always felt that Pinterest was my ‘safe’ app, the one I open and just dream—well, no wonder! They worked hard to make it. They kept it that way even when they lost monetarily to start. All social media companies should follow suit!

California is leading the US in policy to keep children safe on technology. New York follows closely. My earnest kiddo and I left with an urgent need to take action. We decided to write to our legislators and state representatives. We want to call on them to create laws for safer online environments for children and youth. This includes safety on phones, social media, and with AI. Think globally, act locally, right?! We are writing our letters today. We are asking for policy change. You can too if this resonates with you. Google your state representatives and get their emails. Ask them what they are doing to keep our most vulnerable populations safe in this unregulated tech world. Luckily, we have a state representative’s office less than a mile away, and we will be hand delivering his letter.

The last takeaway was this: I am so grateful that we waited until 14 years old before getting our oldest a phone. We have no plan for any social media (other than Pinterest) before 18. I did my own research, Grace exclaimed on our panel that I have “read actual research papers”. I explored any and all I could find about screen time, social media, and tech on growing brains. Years ago, when phones entered our parent radar, there was as little as I could find. All signs pointed to wait. Wait to give phones. Wait for social media. Wait until you have done research on how technology like this is affecting our children. What we did in our home seemed like an anomaly to many we met with, yet inspired many more. It is okay to wait and learn. It is safer to avoid handing over the tiniest computer. This can lead to unsafe spaces accessible in their pockets.

It was such an honor to grace the same stage as Hillary Clinton, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, and Geoffrey Canada. The greater honor was the chance to speak to parents. They are struggling with deciding when and how to introduce AI, phones, and social media to their children. To share our story and have it resonate with so many, I was truly blessed. Be sure to check out the Common Sense Summit on Kids and Families next year. I am certain it will only get better from here! You can also view this year’s panels by searching #CSSUMMIT25.

Stay tuned. I will share what we did before introducing a personal mobile smart phone to our 14 year old soon.

x. earnest mom

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Earnestly Seeing the Moment. The Overwhelming Moments of a SAHM.

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Let me set the scene, it is after dinner and usually the dishes wait until after the kids go to bed…or sometimes until the following morning. Anyway, it is after dinner, we have full bellies, family conversations have ended and next we watch a show or two then start bedtime routines. We head into the TV room, earnest dad kicks up his feet the in recliner and I am in my usual corner of the sectional. All of the sudden I cannot breathe – all three earnest littles are on top of me. Literally two on my lap and another snuggled so close next to me it almost hurts! To be honest, I get overwhelmed.

I am the type of person who likes her own space, I am a snuggler but after being home with the kids all day while earnest dad works – my love tank is full. I am ready for the littles to be all over daddy and let this mama breathe. I look over to earnest dad, reclined, relaxed and maybe even dozing a bit and I get overwhelmed.

There are times in the day, when the kids are running and screaming, fighting and crying, trying to pull me away from cooking dinner to “watch this” or they are too quiet and in a massive panic I rush in to see what is going on. In these moments I am desperate for earnest dad to walk through the door so I can pee alone or at least without children crying and banging down the door. Again, I find myself feeling overwhelmed.

That chaotic hour between home from school and dinner time, when I have to focus of chopping, boiling, tossing and cooking (food not my kids lol) are sometimes the craziest moments of the day. I have to be mom, tutor, playmate, personal chef, or heaven forbid the business phone rings and I have to toss all my hats off to wear the self employed secretary and scheduling hat. I am trying to keep it all together and sound professional, I get overwhelmed.

A few nights ago, kiddos all tucked up in bed and earnest dad working on his reports I was able to sit with my book and some tea, then I started reflecting on my day. It is such an incredible, blessed, exhausting, confidence testing, love never ending, over the top kind of ride, this wild ride that is motherhood. As I sat in my peace, my quiet, my still I start to already miss those squishy little feet tucked under my thigh, the warmth of the toddler and preschool bodies resting heavily on my lap and the arms of love intertwined on my arm as my nine year old lays his head on my shoulder. I got overwhelmed, I missed them and my love for then made me want to cry. My perspective shifted and I remembered the line from the brilliant Lisa Jo Baker’s latest book The Middle Matters,

“I am not asking you to seize the day, just to make sure you actually see it.” – The Middle Matters

So many times I allow the sense of overwhelm take over and I cannot wait to get out of the moments I am in. I cannot wait until, the kids are settled, sleeping, older, quieter or even gone to school. I realize I waste so much of my current moments getting sucked into wishing for different times and I completely forget to see the precious and delicious moments I am currently in.

As we get older we look back on the ‘good ol’times’ with nostalgia and desire to go back. Right now, today I am in the good old days I will look back on, (Hopefully when I am surrounded by my grandchildren and reminding myself they get to go home with their parents, lol). Nonetheless I needed to get out of the rut of longing for a different time and see the moments I am in, before I miss them altogether.

I have the amazing privilege to stay home with my little ones and I have started to make that effort to start earnestly seeing the moments laid before me. It is okay to feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time, but I am working diligently to stop wishing for something different and start finding joy in the moment I am in. Being present is one of the best gifts I can give my children and I know I have a lot more I can give.

x. earnest mom.