I am a mom, I am a blogger, I am a sister and I am a friend; and in all of those roles, I am a sharer.
There is a huge trend today where us mamas feel judged, or overwhelmed by advice and tips in the mama world and to be honest – I get it. We are so quick to put up the “advice not welcome here sign” and stop lending an ear to generations of wisdom that maybe we miss the intent of the advisor. I am a sharer, big time. When I see a fellow mama in need of help, asking for help or simply seeking mutual supports in different aspects of motherhood I cannot help my earnest mouth and I excitedly share my experiences and what I have learned along the way.
When I was brand spanking new to the mama world, I was one of the first of my close friends and the very first on both sides of our immediate family to have a baby and to be honest, I was totally clueless. I did not know what to ask, where to look or what to do! I sought advice but was left short; I read books, I googled all the baby and new mom articles. I overwhelmed myself in written media and wished I had found a tangible example in my little village. Do not get me wrong, my mama and mother-in-love helped a lot – but no offense their children were grown and advice was slightly antiquated.
From that experience I made sure to add mamas more experienced than I to my village, plus pick their brains for tips and advice relevant to my life. I love when someone notices me and my children and have the thought to want to share their sage wisdom with me – do I take in all advice as absolutes, no. However I do sift through to find the gems that can work in my own life while raising my wild and amazing littles.
Sometimes, I feel maybe today we are too quick to stamp down or hush those around us who are only seeking to help – and while some of the advice may have been best left at the door, this verbal interaction is what makes the village of motherhood. Mind you I still hear the occasional rub rum on teething gums (I am sure as more of a joke than advice) but I glean so much from listening to other mama’s birth stories, sleep training tips and so on. What may work for one family may not for another but that is what makes us all unique and successful in our own paths.
I am very conscious when offering advice to fellow moms, I also work hard to read body language when I am chatting. However I always follow up with, this is just what worked for us and what works for one may not for another, but sharing is what I do! I share my experiences, tips and help I have found along the way in hopes another mama would not feel so underprepared and overwhelmed when needing to seek it all alone. Storytelling helps us all get through life and share ourselves with one another even if there are tips laced through the storyline.
Me and my earnest mouth come from a place of love, understanding, accepting and a true desire to help lift the mamas around me. I would only hope that articles, chats and interaction from me would only express the love and hopes to help that I have for others and never put down another mama. In this vast world of social media, perfect Pinterest examples, ideal Instagram images and fantasy Facebook posts – they are OVERWHELMING. We are the most connected we have ever been in history yet, it feels so lonely.
Mamas, let’s not be quick to push away or hurry through the conversations that we are having, lets get out there, find (or create) our villages and be encouraged to share your stories. Stories and experiences help us see likeness in others, visiting and listening help us connect. Let’s do more of that and less scrolling, trust me it will feel less lonely. Listen to the advice (and take only what you need), be willing to share yours – it may take a village to raise our children, but it also takes a village to support their mamas.
x. earnest mom.