As I sit here, we have been traveling every weekend in the past six weeks, my kiddos are not going to be on time, the driving is driving us CRAZY and I am tired. Oh, and because we are traveling I am not at home. We are staying with friends who are more like family and at a place my children are incredibly loved.

It makes me stop, look around and seek out the happy moments in this fever pitch of chaos that will not let up for another few weeks.

We are all healthy, we are all happy and we are together. We have had a lot of church events happening that have uprooted our weekends to hotel rooms, guest rooms and air mattresses. But by the grace of God, we get to do it all together.

In the busyness of travel, this weekend our friends we are bunking with got us out to the local zoo. As we were walking and checking out all the animals my oldest says to me “I love days like this, when we are together.” In that moment I was tired, my littlest little was fussing in the stroller, my back was sore and I was starting to feel all the travel catch up to me; and then my son brought it all to a halt with one comment. His little sentence caught me off guard and it was like a cool glass of water after a dry and hot exertion – he refreshed me.

There I was ready to call it quits, ask to go back to the car so my little and I could rest while everyone else continued on at the zoo. I was replaying in my mind this frantic last week filled with bills, medication refills, teacher emails, packing for this current trip all while catching up on laundry, planting a butterfly garden and six peony bushes plus making time for stories at bedtime and homemade bread. I was exhausting my exhausted self, in my mind at the zoo and then like it was from God’s lips to my ear I heard “I love when we are together.” It made me look right back at that hectic week and thank God that I got to do it all with my family. Together.

Sometimes, right in the middle of chaos God sends you a quiet moment that restores that mama soul, revives your mama heart and causes new energy to come back to the surface, just at the moment you want to give up and give in. I know that as my little ones get older our togetherness will be less and we will slowly grow into our own lives but I am so thankful for the quiet moments I get, the peace that comes when I remember the most important thing is being together.

Be encouraged mamas (and papas if you are reading too); it may be busy, it may be wild and it may be non-stop but one day it will be calm, it will be quiet, it will be slow – and you will miss days like these. We are all going through it one way or another, and there is comfort that even in that, there is togetherness.

x. earnest mom

Preorder Today for a FREE 30 Day The Gift of a Happy Mother Journal and Prize Entry for a gift basket curated by Rebecca Eanes.  Details below.

I have had the earnest privilege to read a digital advanced copy of Rebecca Eanes’ new book The Gift of a Happy Mother and it is honestly a life changing book for me.  I feel like as a mom I am constantly in a state of survival mode; working hard to get from one part of the day to another.  Surviving the messes, the tears, the craziness and the exhaustion.  Who knew finding joy in chaos was possible?! Rebecca makes the stress of motherhood so relatable and the task of finding joy in it all, attainable. This book moved me – all moms should have this one in their mama toolbox.

Below is an excerpt from her new book, sharing with permission from the author, Rebecca Eanes.

“You look gross,” she said. Her eyes narrowed, her nose crinkled in a look of disgust. She didn’t break her stare. Then, she threw another punch. “You’ve aged 10 years in the last month. Look at those lines.” My heart sank, and I walked out of the bathroom to get away from the jerk in the mirror.

Of course, she followed me. She followed me everywhere I went, teasing and mocking often.

“Nobody cares what you have to say.”
“You’re a joke. Give it up.”
“You have zero talent.”

I came in contact with my fair share of bullies throughout childhood, but none as formidable as the one that resided inside my own head. My inner critic was large and in charge before I tackled this happiness stealer on my journey to being a happier mom. The truth is, I didn’t like myself very much. I wouldn’t have liked anyone who talked to me that way, so that was certainly understandable. Sometimes the biggest critics we face in our lives are ourselves.

I could go on about the kids in school who called me “hippopotamus” or how my work has been criticized as recently as two days ago. We all have stories like that, don’t we? I could blame them all for the harsh voice inside my head, but placing blame doesn’t fix the problem. In the end, this is my show, and I decide who’ll be the star. There will always be people in the world who don’t see our value. It’s when we stop seeing it ourselves that’s the real problem.

The first time my son received a hateful comment on YouTube, I told him this. “Don’t let someone’s hateful spirit invade your beautiful heart and soul. They can’t see your light because they live in darkness. That doesn’t mean you aren’t shining, though. Shine on.” I give him different versions of this same message every time someone fails to see his light. I don’t ever want him to lose sight of his value. Saying this to him stirred up a lot of emotion in myself, and I realized my heart desperately needed this message, too.

To the girls in elementary school who teased me, to the boys who dumped me, to the friends who backstabbed me, to the internet critics, to everyone who has said a hateful word about me, and especially to the bully in my brain, hear this: Your hateful spirit will not invade my heart and soul. I will shine on.

Strategy: Hush Little Critic, Don’t Say a Word

Dealing with inner bullies is a lot like wrangling down those negative thoughts, but it’s more personal. A negative thought might be “this day is a total failure” but the inner bully might say “you are a total failure.” Stop those hateful thoughts about yourself in their tracks and start saying positive things about yourself every day, even if it feels ridiculous at first. Positive self-talk will build your self-esteem and confidence. When that inner critic rears her ugly head, say hush little critic. Then remind yourself how awesome you are, because mama, you’re incredible!

Happiness Habit:
Write a friendly letter to yourself. List your good qualities and tell yourself why you are worthy of love and joy.

I know this “Brain Bully” all too well – I battle with her daily.  How dare she question who and what I am as a mother?!  Alas, she does and there are times I believe her.  I love the strategy Rebecca gives here to help hush that inner critic.  Find out more about finding that inner joy that our children deserve from us mamas by pre-ordering your copy of The Gift of a Happy Mother.  Order today (or before April 1, 2019) to receive a FREE 30 Day Journal for The Gift of a Happy Mother; and you will be entered to win a gift basket from Rebecca Eanes!  Preorder link here: THE GIFT OF A HAPPY MOTHER

x.  earnest mom.