Category: Mommy Sisterhood

Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

Finding Earnest Connection in Motherhood

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Motherhood is earnestly beautiful – but it can also be lonely.

We spend our days pouring out – packing lunches, reading stories, wiping tears (and bottoms). And while our hearts are full of love for our family, many of us have the quiet worry… Who is pouring into me??

God never meant for us to be alone, not in life and especially not in motherhood.

We are created for connection, for laughter across the kitchen table. For prayers whispered over coffee. For a knowing glance or silent hand squeeze in the toughest of times. Moments that say, we are in this together.

The thing about motherhood, with all its moving pieces, we find that friendships take a back seat and then it is hard to make new ones or even pick up old ones. Friendship in motherhood takes intention, and often takes courage. In a recent Ohio State University survey, 71% of moms said that the demands of parenthood made them feel lonely sometimes or a lot of the time. That is every 2 out of 3 moms you know or meet. The facts are staggering, and what’s more once we get into the that lonely place, it is so tough to get out.

Do not lose hope mama, it may take a little work, being a bit awkward but the truth is – we are all awkward and nervous. Here are some gentle steps you can take if you are craving deeper friendships this season.

  1. Be Brave enough to go first. Sometimes friendship starts with a simple smile or a brave “Hi!” at the park or in the church nursery room. It’s ok to feel nervous – you are not alone in that.
  2. Extend small invitations. You do not need to plan a big event or playdate – send a quick test saying “want to grab coffee?” or “want to join me for a stroller walk today?” These are great places to start mama, one small step at a time.
  3. Embrace imperfect connections. Friendships do not require dust free baseboards or a five course meal. Invite someone over, even if the laundry is out. Real connections grow in real life situations.
  4. Look for the mom standing alone. Maybe at church, the park or your local homeschool co-op, the library or even waiting outside the pick line at school. She is probably just a nervous as you but longing for a friend too!
  5. Ask God for friendship. Do not forget to pray! Ask the Lord to bring the right women into your life – someone who will see you, support you and will help you grow with him.

Mama, we were made for community. We were made for connection.

Be bold. Be kind. Be willing to go first. Be awkward. Be real. And walk in truth – it is hard to step out and make new friends, but it is harder to be in this alone. So, choose your hard mama. Sometimes the best of friendships began with a shared smile or a spare diaper, because you have run out of diapers while in the bathroom at a department store too.

I have included some sweet and simple ways to connect – Mom Connection Cards! Print the cards out, fill in your name and number and keep them in the diaper bag, purse or glove box. Hand them to another mom when the moment feels right – it is the first step that can lead to some beautiful rewards.

Remember, in motherhood we are in this together, one earnest MOMent at a time.

Love, Earnest Mom.

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Earnestly Seeing the Moment. The Overwhelming Moments of a SAHM.

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Let me set the scene, it is after dinner and usually the dishes wait until after the kids go to bed…or sometimes until the following morning. Anyway, it is after dinner, we have full bellies, family conversations have ended and next we watch a show or two then start bedtime routines. We head into the TV room, earnest dad kicks up his feet the in recliner and I am in my usual corner of the sectional. All of the sudden I cannot breathe – all three earnest littles are on top of me. Literally two on my lap and another snuggled so close next to me it almost hurts! To be honest, I get overwhelmed.

I am the type of person who likes her own space, I am a snuggler but after being home with the kids all day while earnest dad works – my love tank is full. I am ready for the littles to be all over daddy and let this mama breathe. I look over to earnest dad, reclined, relaxed and maybe even dozing a bit and I get overwhelmed.

There are times in the day, when the kids are running and screaming, fighting and crying, trying to pull me away from cooking dinner to “watch this” or they are too quiet and in a massive panic I rush in to see what is going on. In these moments I am desperate for earnest dad to walk through the door so I can pee alone or at least without children crying and banging down the door. Again, I find myself feeling overwhelmed.

That chaotic hour between home from school and dinner time, when I have to focus of chopping, boiling, tossing and cooking (food not my kids lol) are sometimes the craziest moments of the day. I have to be mom, tutor, playmate, personal chef, or heaven forbid the business phone rings and I have to toss all my hats off to wear the self employed secretary and scheduling hat. I am trying to keep it all together and sound professional, I get overwhelmed.

A few nights ago, kiddos all tucked up in bed and earnest dad working on his reports I was able to sit with my book and some tea, then I started reflecting on my day. It is such an incredible, blessed, exhausting, confidence testing, love never ending, over the top kind of ride, this wild ride that is motherhood. As I sat in my peace, my quiet, my still I start to already miss those squishy little feet tucked under my thigh, the warmth of the toddler and preschool bodies resting heavily on my lap and the arms of love intertwined on my arm as my nine year old lays his head on my shoulder. I got overwhelmed, I missed them and my love for then made me want to cry. My perspective shifted and I remembered the line from the brilliant Lisa Jo Baker’s latest book The Middle Matters,

“I am not asking you to seize the day, just to make sure you actually see it.” – The Middle Matters

So many times I allow the sense of overwhelm take over and I cannot wait to get out of the moments I am in. I cannot wait until, the kids are settled, sleeping, older, quieter or even gone to school. I realize I waste so much of my current moments getting sucked into wishing for different times and I completely forget to see the precious and delicious moments I am currently in.

As we get older we look back on the ‘good ol’times’ with nostalgia and desire to go back. Right now, today I am in the good old days I will look back on, (Hopefully when I am surrounded by my grandchildren and reminding myself they get to go home with their parents, lol). Nonetheless I needed to get out of the rut of longing for a different time and see the moments I am in, before I miss them altogether.

I have the amazing privilege to stay home with my little ones and I have started to make that effort to start earnestly seeing the moments laid before me. It is okay to feel a bit overwhelmed from time to time, but I am working diligently to stop wishing for something different and start finding joy in the moment I am in. Being present is one of the best gifts I can give my children and I know I have a lot more I can give.

x. earnest mom.

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Review + Giveaway: Stewie BOOM! And Princess Penelope: Snowflakes, Handprints and Playdates.

by earnestmomblog ♥ 3 Comments

April is National Autism Awareness month and this month I really wanted to focus on being inclusive, and gaining more understanding and sensitivity with my earnest littles about Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Many children that have Autism can go undiagnosed for a long time and the spectrum is so broad that even a diagnosis is not the full answer. I wanted to be sure we learned that no matter the behavior we see, every child deserves a friend. I found this exact message in Stewie BOOM! and Princess Penelope: Snowflakes, Handprints and Playdates by Christine Bronstein.

This book highlights what it means to play with someone new, making friends, understanding differences and every character is completely relatable for adults and kids. Following the story there are some stellar tips on reaching out to new friends, being accepting of differences and starting a conversation about Autism with kids.

When asked what her inspiration was to write Stewie BOOM! And Princess Penelope: Snowflakes, Handprints and Playdates; Christine said:

It is a book I wish I had when my kids were younger.  One of my children had some special needs and I know how isolating it can be.  Too many families with children with ASD are struggling with isolation and bullying and these are two things that are actually solvable if we all work together to embrace these families and children into our communities.

This book speaks to me on so many levels and would be the perfect addition to any home or classroom library to help open dialogue on all of the points that Christine listed above.

GIVEAWAY: Want to win a book of your own?! Comment below if you have been or plan to be involved with Autism Awareness this month (or longer!!). Examples could be you did a community walk, changed your Facebook frame, bought cookies that will benefit the Autism society, or maybe simply talking to your children about what the spectrum is and how we can be more kind, outgoing and accepting. Please share your plans, ideas and activities below! Giveaway now CLOSED. The winner has been announced here in the comments and on earnest mom’s Instagram (@earnestmomblog), be sure to be following to find out if you have won!

x. earnest mom.