Tag: earnest family

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The Heart of the Matter. Our Earnest Miracle.

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

Photo Credit: stock.adobe.com

It has been one year.  A full year since my otherwise fit, happy, energetic (and adorable) husband AKA earnest dad suffered a massive heart attack.  I remember watching the doctor in a cold fearful fog as she said “ma’am, your husband is experiencing a cardiac event.”  I will never forget the way she said those words: cardiac event.

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon, we have bible study on Wednesdays and so from 3:30 – 5:30 pm is becomes a mad dash to get kids, myself and dinner ready before 5:00 pm so we can be out the door by 5:30 pm.  It is in the middle of this ordinary chaos I get a call from earnest dad, “Babe. I am driving to the emergency room.”  The chaos stilled, silence fell upon my ears and all I could hear was the quick, quiet and worry filled breathe of my husband as he explained what he was experiencing.  I listened as he described NOTHING I would think would be related to a heart problem.  A bit of dizziness, a menthol feeling in the back of his throat, but something just felt off – like maybe he waited too long to eat lunch.  I sent my oldest across the street to fetch my mother in law – but insisted my husband stay on the phone until I was at the emergency room with him.  After a quick exchange with my MIL I was off to the hospital.

I walk in, my husband is already being evaluated, has already had an EKG and was quickly being whisked off through triage to a room where they could monitor him.  My husband had high cholesterol, and unusually high triglycerides that he had been taking medication for – but the doctors could not find anything wrong.  He was not experiencing pain, or tightness in chest, he was breathing fine and all of the tests were coming back normal.  There is an enzyme your heart releases into your blood stream (troponin) that came back minimally elevated – and doc gave him a slight sedative to ease anxiety, since he felt with earnest dad working 2 full time jobs, plus being a full time unpaid pastor could all cause a lot of stress that can easily present as a panic attack.  Panic attacks can produce of the symptoms he was experiencing.  Our emergency doctor (who happened to be the brother of a MOPS friend) gave us the option to stay for observation or go home.  I insisted we stay.

Within a few hours we were moved twice and finally arrived on the cardiac floor since after two more blood tests, his troponin was massive heart attack level. I was so scared, could this be it?! 9.5 years of an amazing marriage, three beautiful children and being able to share it all with my best friend – could I be losing it all in one night?! He was only 41 years old. That night I prayed, selfishly I begged that I would not lose my husband, I asked the Lord to keep him alive, for me.

By the next morning, we were waiting with bated breath, longing to hear good news from every nurse, doctor, orderly, ANYONE who walked into the room. The news only got worse, although my husband was smiling, joking, laughing and only felt headache created by the nitroglycerin patch on his chest; his blood was still reading massive heart attack levels. The doctors were astounded he was not feeling any other pain. Our next step was choosing a stress test or straight to a heart catheter to look for any blockages. We chose the catheter since it would be the most conclusive.

We got the call from the catheter lab; they were ready for him. As he went to get ready, an orderly came in to wheel him to a stress test. We stopped and called up the doc – again he said our choice. Again, we chose the catheter – and thank God we did. After 3.5 grueling hours of waiting in the cath-lab waiting room the doctor came to see me. All three of his main arteries were blocked, 2 about 90% blocked and the other one 100%. Had we chosen a stress test, the doctor was sure he would have dropped right then and there. We were floored, hot tears of relief alongside loud cries releasing the emotion and fear I had been choking down burst from me like a levy giving way to the powerful rising tide. Although he was not 100% out of the woods quite yet, he was saved from this cardiac event.

Hours later, in recovery we met with his cardiologist (now a someone he sees at least twice a year). His doctor looked at us in amazement, with two things he needed to tell us. 1. If we had gone home that Wednesday night, there is no doubt my husband would have not woken up the next morning. 2. The artery that had the 100% blockage should have caused damage in his lower ventricle – but from what he could see there was ZERO damage.

By the grace of God, less than 48 hours after 5 stents were placed in all three of my husband’s arteries, we were home. He was sore but our hearts rejoiced seeing the hand of God so powerful in this whole event.

Secretly, I was praying as I awaited the dreaded hospital bills. I had told myself, “no matter the cost, my husband is alive and that is priceless.” When that worry about medical bills would wake me in the middle of the night, I would look over at my sleeping husband and place my hand on his chest so I could remind myself of the most important thing – he is alive.

As the days passed, we adjusted to the medicine regimen, the nutritionist recommendations and, as the family we were now having gone through this together. We received dozens of cards from members of our church sharing their love and prayers and some even gifts of money knowing the medical bills would be piling up. And then it came, the explanation of benefits from our insurance and as I was reading the numbers, the more than quarter of a million-dollar total cost, I swallowed hard. My stomach dropped, my face felt flush and worry squeezed down on me, but I kept reading. I saw deductions, insurance payments, in network discounts and the total we owed was the EXACT amount we had been sent in cards over the last few weeks.

My knees were weak, the relief felt like I had been lifted from some invisible weight that I had been dragging daily. Could it be?! I checked again, read it aloud, cried as I read it the third time. It was 100% accurate; not only had God saved my husband’s life, He made sure it was done at no cost to us.

Here we are one year later. Together, healthy and so incredibly blessed. At moments of stress or worry, I give my hubby a hug and listen to his heartbeat as it reminds me who truly is in control.

x. earnest mom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Me & My Earnest Mouth

by earnestmomblog ♥ 0 Leave a Comment

I am a mom, I am a blogger, I am a sister and I am a friend; and in all of those roles, I am a sharer.

There is a huge trend today where us mamas feel judged, or overwhelmed by advice and tips in the mama world and to be honest – I get it. We are so quick to put up the “advice not welcome here sign” and stop lending an ear to generations of wisdom that maybe we miss the intent of the advisor. I am a sharer, big time. When I see a fellow mama in need of help, asking for help or simply seeking mutual supports in different aspects of motherhood I cannot help my earnest mouth and I excitedly share my experiences and what I have learned along the way.

When I was brand spanking new to the mama world, I was one of the first of my close friends and the very first on both sides of our immediate family to have a baby and to be honest, I was totally clueless. I did not know what to ask, where to look or what to do! I sought advice but was left short; I read books, I googled all the baby and new mom articles. I overwhelmed myself in written media and wished I had found a tangible example in my little village. Do not get me wrong, my mama and mother-in-love helped a lot – but no offense their children were grown and advice was slightly antiquated.

From that experience I made sure to add mamas more experienced than I to my village, plus pick their brains for tips and advice relevant to my life. I love when someone notices me and my children and have the thought to want to share their sage wisdom with me – do I take in all advice as absolutes, no. However I do sift through to find the gems that can work in my own life while raising my wild and amazing littles.

Sometimes, I feel maybe today we are too quick to stamp down or hush those around us who are only seeking to help – and while some of the advice may have been best left at the door, this verbal interaction is what makes the village of motherhood. Mind you I still hear the occasional rub rum on teething gums (I am sure as more of a joke than advice) but I glean so much from listening to other mama’s birth stories, sleep training tips and so on. What may work for one family may not for another but that is what makes us all unique and successful in our own paths.

I am very conscious when offering advice to fellow moms, I also work hard to read body language when I am chatting. However I always follow up with, this is just what worked for us and what works for one may not for another, but sharing is what I do! I share my experiences, tips and help I have found along the way in hopes another mama would not feel so underprepared and overwhelmed when needing to seek it all alone. Storytelling helps us all get through life and share ourselves with one another even if there are tips laced through the storyline.

Me and my earnest mouth come from a place of love, understanding, accepting and a true desire to help lift the mamas around me. I would only hope that articles, chats and interaction from me would only express the love and hopes to help that I have for others and never put down another mama. In this vast world of social media, perfect Pinterest examples, ideal Instagram images and fantasy Facebook posts – they are OVERWHELMING. We are the most connected we have ever been in history yet, it feels so lonely.

Mamas, let’s not be quick to push away or hurry through the conversations that we are having, lets get out there, find (or create) our villages and be encouraged to share your stories. Stories and experiences help us see likeness in others, visiting and listening help us connect. Let’s do more of that and less scrolling, trust me it will feel less lonely. Listen to the advice (and take only what you need), be willing to share yours – it may take a village to raise our children, but it also takes a village to support their mamas.

x. earnest mom.

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Earnest Bedtimes + the 5 Stages of Grief.

by earnestmomblog ♥ 1 Comment
A slightly comical look at our bedtime routine, remember what may work for one family may not for another. Glean what you may and enjoy!

Typically these two things are not correlated, well not formally but I have come to discover that every single night my children (particularly my darling sweet middle child) experience ALL five stages of grief at bedtime. Here is a typical night at the earnest household, where both earnest dad and I are usually home as we try our best to have dinner as a family and visit together before bedtime.

Stage one: Denial.

Picture it: dinner is done, the kiddos are finishing homework, or chores; then we like to enjoy a show on Netflix before bedtime starts. So we are usually all snuggled up in the living room together and around 7:20 pm I announce “5 minutes and it is time to start potty and brushing teeth.” The reaction: my 9 year old instantly bolts from the couch in disbelief to check the clock in the kitchen; my 4 year old laments, “whaaaaat?! We have just had dinner, it is not time for bedtime yet.” And my 16 month old yells out “teeeeeeth” (he is just excited to brush his teeth). This first stage usually last about 2-3 minutes before the next stage hits.

Stage two: Anger.

Earnest dad or I typically reply to the confusion, “yes, we have about five minutes and then we need to start brushing teeth and going to bed.” My 9 year old, “ugh, why can’t I stay up????” And he may or may not be stomping or dropping to the floor. My 4 year old, “what?! Bedtime?! No!!!” Followed by her loud, tear-filled cry and hugs. My 16 month old, “teeeeth.” He is still excited to brush his teeth.

Stage three: Bargaining.

My 9 year old calms and slyly sits down next to me and asks the following in a hushed voice, “mom, can I stay up just a little bit later tonight? Please? Just a little.” My 4 year old, wiping tears and calming down, “wait” sniffle, sniffle, “can we watch just one more episode?” And my 16 month old, he has gotten up walked to the bathroom and is waiting for someone to open the door to hand him his toothbrush.

Stage four: Depression.

Here we get full on tears, and earnest dad and I stay firm. “Okay guys, time is up let’s go potty and get our teeth brushed.” All kids sadly get up, turn off the TV and head to the bathroom where the chaos of toothpaste, toothbrushes, potty time scheduling and a quick diaper change for the littlest happens. Then boom, we are all walking upstairs together and this is where the final stage sets in.

Stage five: Acceptance.

Kids are calm, I am usually with our 4 year old daughter and earnest dad takes the boys to their room. I tuck her in, we read a book, say prayers, give kisses and back scratches and, as I wind up her musical unicorn jewelry box she turns to me and says: “mama, what we doing tomorrow?” We review the plans for the next day and as I walk out of her room I get one final “night mama, I love you.” As I close her door I hear the same events taking place in the boys’ room. Their love tanks are full and, my earnest heart is overflowing.

By 8:00 pm all three are in bed, where they stay all night. And since realizing this routine they experience every night before bed, I am able to know just what to expect. There is so much joy in that, I find our bedtimes even in the 5 stages are smooth and fun. By the time we are heading upstairs the tears have turned to giggles, the cries have turned to ‘I love you’s’ and the one goal earnest dad and I try to meet every night in our marriage is being met with our children: never go to bed angry.

I know I am comparing parts of our night with the stages of grief, but when you are little and every day is the ‘best day ever,’ why would you want it to end? I am so blessed by this predictable, earnest little event we have every night; it is in this routine we all find the comfort we need to sleep peacefully in our earnest little home. Let me know what your bedtime routine looks like? What works for you, and do your children experience any of the 5 Stages of Grief before bed??

x. earnest mom.